All I can say is sorry

I have a heavy heart right now. I feel like the worst mother ever. For the last month and a half if you asked me how this pregnancy was going I most likely told you how much I dislike being pregnant. And as of Tuesday night I believe I even uttered the words no mother should ever say.... I hate this baby. I am sorry baby! I love you more then words can really describe and I am sorry.

Now for the explanation:

For the past month and a half I have been getting pains that were horrible to say the least. I went to the hospital and was told the pains I was having were due to round ligament pain. Fast forward to earlier this week and I was starting to get really concerned. The pains were happening almost weekly and there seemed to be no reason for them. They would happen at any time of day wether I had eaten or not. So on Tuesday at my last doctors appointment I mentioned it again and that my level of concern was rising. My doctor said that I should start writing down when they were happening and we would look at it again next time I was in.

Tuesday afternoon the pain started again and came on fairly quickly. We went out to dinner and by the time dinner was over the pain was horrible. Normally when the pain comes I end up getting sick and then the pain eventually wains away. Well on Tuesday the pains did not go away even after I got sick. I decided to go to sleep and see what the next day would bring, not that a good nights sleep was possible when my stomach was feeling the way it was but I would try.

Wednesday morning I woke up to the same pain and decided that i needed to give the hospital one more chance to help me with this pain. So off we went to see what they thought it might be this time. After more then a few hours, a few blood collections and one ultrasound it was determined that I have gallstones. They decided to admit me over night to run more tests and see just how bad the situation was. After one of the loneliest nights I have ever had and a room mate in labour they decided that it was something I should try to control with diet. So the plan is to try and avoid bad fats.

It turns out that the baby is good and all along it was my body causing the pain not the baby. So like I wrote before I am sorry baby. Sorry that I ever had a bad thought about you. I love you and I can not wait to meet you. As far as my gallbladder is concerned we will wait and see what happens.

100 days

Wow I just realized that today I am at 100 days left. That is crazy!!!!! Tomorrow will be down to two digits... how my god I am having a baby!!!

Would a rose by any other name still smell as sweet?

Over the last 6 months M and I have not been able to agree on a boy's name. Which led me to believe that we would be having a boy. Well now that we know we are in fact having a boy we started the baby name talks all over again.

We both have names that we want but up to this point no one was willing to give into the other. Well I think it must be the hormones kicking in because the other day I decided that I would be the one to let go and choose M's name. So with that we have a name.

No one might think that is where the story ends but alas it does not.... now that we have a name we can't decide on how to spell it. So I am calling on anyone that has an opinion and would like to help.

We have decided that Baby T will be.......... Kalen Andrew Teare.

So here are the options:

1. Kalen

2. Kaylen

3. Kailen

I personally like #1 but I am not sure people will pronounce it the way it is intended. #2 is spelt the way we would like to pronounce his name but I can't get past the fact that I think adding a Y makes it girly. #3 was an option someone gave me yesterday but I think adding the i would make most people pronounce it as "kai"len when it should be "kay"len.

So what do you think? Please let me know as at this point I am totally lost. Also if you think of another version I am all ears.

Thanks friends!!!!

Baby T is a....

BOY!!!

Questionaire

How far along? 23 weeks 3 days
Total weight gain/loss: at my last doctors appointment I finally gained some weight 0.3 kg, not much but its a first for me. So right now I am still down about 9 pounds overall
Maternity clothes? yep
Stretch marks? Yes and they are gross
Sleep: I am starting to have a harder time sleeping. From waking up several times a night because I have rolled on my stomach and it is extremely uncomfortable or waking to go pee
Best moment this week: Feeling baby kick for the first time and seeing my hubbies reaction when I told him I had felt baby move
Movement: See question above
Food cravings: Chocolate!!! I am also getting heart burn when I eat the chocolate so I guess I just can't win right now
Gender: No idea.... I did have a dream that it was a girl the other day though
Labor Signs: Still nothing :)
Belly Button in or out? Still in and hopefully it stays that way
What I miss: Back to beer.... how sad
What I am looking forward to: Seeing this baby on December 26th- what a perfect christmas gift
Weekly Wisdom: Not sure if it's good wisdom but I was told several times today that labour is horrible

Milestones: Feeling baby... weird but amazing at the same time

Daddy to be

I am so excited to see M as a dad. I think he is going to be such a good dad. He has no experience with children let alone new born babies but I just know he is going to be such a good dad to our little one. It makes me so excited to start a family with him. I know that no matter what we can do this, together we will do this.

New firsts

Friday was my first time at the hospital for this baby. Not the best first to be having but I am happy to say all ended well. I started having some fairly intense pains in my abdomen in the morning and but lunch time the pain was still in my abdomen and had spread to my back and then I started to puke so I called the health link and she told me to go to the hospital.

My parents came and took me to the hospital. After a 3 hour wait the doctor came in to say she was pretty sure it was round ligament pain and that we could go home. So while I am very relieved that it is nothing serious it really sucks that it's something I am just going to have to live with until the baby is bigger and my uterus is no longer hanging.