I have not been writing much on here lately mostly because all of the things going on in life are starting to become a little more then I can handle.
At the end of December M was laid of from his job due to lack of work at his company. At first I was not worried as I was sure he would find a job right away and life would be just as it was supposed to be. Well tomorrow is the first day of February and M still has no job. He tells me that he is trying his hardest to find a job and I believe him. I only have 7 weeks of work left, OMG 7 weeks, and there is no possible way that M and I can both be collecting EI and still pay all of our bills. I am trying to think positively but it is getting really hard!!
Why does life try to teach us lessons at the most awkward times? We are expecting a baby in 10 weeks, building a new house and trying to get renos complete on our current house. Right now is not the best time for M not to be working.
I know that people say god won't give you more then you can handle but I am not sure I believe that right now. You would think gall stones would be enough for one pregnant cranky lady to handle but I guess god thinks I am one strong lady because lord knows I am not sure I can handle all of this for much longer.... So with that said here is my prayer... please let M find a job within the next 4 weeks. PLEASE!
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Friday, January 15, 2010
I have a heavy heart right now. I feel like the worst mother ever. For the last month and a half if you asked me how this pregnancy was going I most likely told you how much I dislike being pregnant. And as of Tuesday night I believe I even uttered the words no mother should ever say.... I hate this baby. I am sorry baby! I love you more then words can really describe and I am sorry.
Now for the explanation:
For the past month and a half I have been getting pains that were horrible to say the least. I went to the hospital and was told the pains I was having were due to round ligament pain. Fast forward to earlier this week and I was starting to get really concerned. The pains were happening almost weekly and there seemed to be no reason for them. They would happen at any time of day wether I had eaten or not. So on Tuesday at my last doctors appointment I mentioned it again and that my level of concern was rising. My doctor said that I should start writing down when they were happening and we would look at it again next time I was in.
Tuesday afternoon the pain started again and came on fairly quickly. We went out to dinner and by the time dinner was over the pain was horrible. Normally when the pain comes I end up getting sick and then the pain eventually wains away. Well on Tuesday the pains did not go away even after I got sick. I decided to go to sleep and see what the next day would bring, not that a good nights sleep was possible when my stomach was feeling the way it was but I would try.
Wednesday morning I woke up to the same pain and decided that i needed to give the hospital one more chance to help me with this pain. So off we went to see what they thought it might be this time. After more then a few hours, a few blood collections and one ultrasound it was determined that I have gallstones. They decided to admit me over night to run more tests and see just how bad the situation was. After one of the loneliest nights I have ever had and a room mate in labour they decided that it was something I should try to control with diet. So the plan is to try and avoid bad fats.
It turns out that the baby is good and all along it was my body causing the pain not the baby. So like I wrote before I am sorry baby. Sorry that I ever had a bad thought about you. I love you and I can not wait to meet you. As far as my gallbladder is concerned we will wait and see what happens.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Over the last 6 months M and I have not been able to agree on a boy's name. Which led me to believe that we would be having a boy. Well now that we know we are in fact having a boy we started the baby name talks all over again.
We both have names that we want but up to this point no one was willing to give into the other. Well I think it must be the hormones kicking in because the other day I decided that I would be the one to let go and choose M's name. So with that we have a name.
No one might think that is where the story ends but alas it does not.... now that we have a name we can't decide on how to spell it. So I am calling on anyone that has an opinion and would like to help.
We have decided that Baby T will be.......... Kalen Andrew Teare.
So here are the options:
I personally like #1 but I am not sure people will pronounce it the way it is intended. #2 is spelt the way we would like to pronounce his name but I can't get past the fact that I think adding a Y makes it girly. #3 was an option someone gave me yesterday but I think adding the i would make most people pronounce it as "kai"len when it should be "kay"len.
So what do you think? Please let me know as at this point I am totally lost. Also if you think of another version I am all ears.