20 weeks and my birthday

This past week we celebrated reaching the half way mark in this pregnancy and my 27th birthday. I am so happy to be half way done this pregnancy and that much closer to meeting our baby.

So far I am having a hard time connecting to this baby and when we found out that they could not tell us the sex of the baby I had a really hard time. I also found out that the placenta is anterior so it will be harder for me to feel this baby. I am desperate to find some kind of connection to this baby. When I say that it makes me feel like a horrible mom already but it's truly how I feel. So we decided to pay for another ultrasound since my doctor said she will not be giving me anymore. December 26th is hopefully the day we will find out what this baby is and I will have something to bring me closer...

Questionaire

How far along? 19 weeks 1 days
Total weight gain/loss: down 10 pounds. I talked to the doctor but she said she is not concerned that I am still loosing weight
Maternity clothes? pants for now but my other clothes feel like they are getting tighter
Stretch marks? No new ones that I can tell
Sleep: I am having a hard time getting comfortable as I normally sleep on my tummy and that is not so comfortable anymore
Best moment this week: Hearing the babies heartbeat again. Even though you know things are good it is still reassuring
Movement: I was told at my ultrasound that the placenta is anterior which means it is in front of the baby. The doctor says this will make it harder for me to feel the baby move
Food cravings: Chocolate and ice cream
Gender: I am not sure anymore, it changes daily
Labor Signs: None although my boss keeps telling me that when my stomach gets hard all of the sudden it means that I am having braxton hicks, I don't know if that is true or not
Belly Button in or out? Still in
What I miss: Alcohol, still!!!
What I am looking forward to: Meeting this little one and drinking a cold Corona
Weekly Wisdom: I am not sure I have any wisdom right now, baby brain has kicked in!

Milestones: Seeing baby again, it was so nice to find out that baby is still healthy

Ultrasound Picture - 18 weeks 2 days

Baby payback

For the last little while we have been telling everyone who asks a small white lie. We have been saying that our big ultrasound was not until the 17th but it was actually on the 11th. We wanted sometime where it was only our news. We wanted sometime to bond with our little boy or little girl before everyone else did.

So yesterday we went to the ultrasound and found out that baby Teare is a very healthy.... baby. It turns out that baby Teare wanted to teach mommy and daddy a lesson about lying to people so he/she sat on it's feet the whole time we were there. The ultrasound tech tried to get it to move but baby would not budge.

I have a doctors appointment for next week so I am going to beg my doctor to give us another ultrasound. If she will not I think we are going to pay to have another one. I found out yesterday that I most definitely want to know. After we left the ultrasound office all I wanted to do was cry. Don't get me wrong I am SO happy baby is healthy but I really wanted to know and when the tech said she could not tell it was like the air was let out of my tires. I just wanted to yell at her to keep trying but being the nice, sometime sane person I am I did not.

First big baby purchase

On Friday we made our first big purchase we got a crib.

It was on sale which was nice. This is the crib but we got it in a different color. I am so excited to have one thing out of the way.

Questionaire

How far along? 16 weeks 2 days
Total weight gain/loss: down 6 pounds well i was down last time I got weighed 2 weeks ago
Maternity clothes? pants - yes other then that I am still in my regular clothes
Stretch marks? No new ones
Sleep: My back has been killing me when I wake up... but I am sleeping fine. In fact I am more tired now then I was in the first trimester
Best moment this week: Finding out that they had to move our ultrasound up to the 17th
Movement: I am not sure if I am feeling anything yet. A couple of times this week I have thought that I might be feeling some flutters but who knows
Food cravings: It changes on a daily wait hourly basis. If I see it or hear it mentioned I will want it!
Gender: Right now I feel like it's a boy but who knows I have never been pregnant before
Labor Signs: None and I hope it stays like that for the next 23 weeks
Belly Button in or out? Still in
What I miss: Alcohol!!! We had to go to the liquor store on the weekend to get wine for Kim's baby shower and it was like my worst nightmare coming true!
What I am looking forward to: Meeting this little one and drinking a cold Corona
Weekly Wisdom: Not sure what to put here... maybe that it is my body and our baby so we need to do what is right for us not anyone else

Milestones: 16 weeks!!! Wow I can't believe I am almost half way there

15 weeks

Today I am 15 weeks pregnant. I have been having a rough couple of days. I have been having a really hard time with the idea that people only see me as a pregnant lady. I just want to scream "I am still human and I do have thoughts every once in a while that don't revolve around this thing that is invading my tummy space!!" I am very grateful that I have so many people in my life that care about the baby and I but for the love of god stop asking me how I have been feeling when I have told you that I have felt great every time you have asked me for the last 8 weeks.

I am so happy that this baby is on it's way into our lives but I really need to have a few minutes, days or maybe even weeks when I don't have to talk about or hear about this baby. When it's my choice to talk about the baby it's easier but I just need a minute right now.

I think I might be a bad mom already.... how sad.