Saturday, March 20, 2010

Hospital visit #....

Today started off with hospital visit #4 :(

I woke up feeling fine but had to pee very badly. After I was done i wiped and as anyone who has struggled with infertility I checked the t.p. when I was done. There was nothing there so I stood up and felt what I thought was a bit of a pee leak.... haha a pee leak. When I wiped I once again looked at the t.p. and saw bright red blood. I was more then a little shocked as I had not experienced anything like this before.

The worst part was I was seriously debating if I should go in to the hospital or not. Not because I wasn't concerned but because I really did not want to go in. What kind of a mother decides not to go to the hospital because she is just sick of going? I am so scared that this experience has jaded me in a very bad way. I am so hopeful that once he is here these feelings will go away. I don't want to be making any bad decisions based on my own selfishness.

Well after waiting all day in the L&D triage they decided that we could go home. They are not sure where the blood came from so of course if it comes back I have to go back in right away.

My hope for the rest of this pregnancy is to not go back to the hospital until it's time to deliver.

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