Saturday, June 12, 2010

Huge mommy fail!

Kalen is sleeping the majority of his sleep in his crib now but after his morning bottle he comes into our bed for another round of sleep. This is not something I specifically wanted to happen but he sleeps so well that second time and well I like it.

Up until now everything has gone well. I am normally a lite sleeper but with Kalen in the bed I am a super lite sleeper. Until this morning...... when I was exhausted beyond anything I have felt yet. I remember going to get him, feeding him and falling asleep when he was done with him in between the two of us. This is where I have no idea what happened but next thing I did know Kalen was on the ground... balling his eyes out. He fell out of our bed and hit his head on the floor HARD.

The sound immediately woke me and when I saw it was Kalen on the floor I freaked out. What the hell is wrong with me!?!? How did I let this happen to him. I feel like the worst momma on earth.

We called health link because I was so worried and the nurse informed me that we should head to the children's hospital. We did because I was sure in the back of my mind that I had just killed my baby. After being looked at by the doctor a few times over a few hours he said all seems well and some signs to look for just in case. He has a little bump and a scratch on his head but otherwise he seems fine.

I on the other hand am not fine. I can't believe I let that happen. What the F**K! He is such an awesome baby and he deserves better then me.

I love you so much Kalen! I am SO sorry! We will no longer be co-sleeping... as much as it does sadden me it is worth his safety.

2 comments:

  1. Oh hunny!! These things happen. Babes are going to fall out of beds and get bumps. I understand how freked out you were by it and by all means how scary it must of been. I am so sorry that you had to experience that. "Mommy fails" are going to happen, I have had quite a few myself (poisoning her with a plant for starters). Do not beat yourself up over it. My heart and thoughts are with you and Kalen.

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  2. Thanks! Still feeling like a very crappy parent! Kalen is fine though.

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