20 weeks and my birthday

This past week we celebrated reaching the half way mark in this pregnancy and my 27th birthday. I am so happy to be half way done this pregnancy and that much closer to meeting our baby.

So far I am having a hard time connecting to this baby and when we found out that they could not tell us the sex of the baby I had a really hard time. I also found out that the placenta is anterior so it will be harder for me to feel this baby. I am desperate to find some kind of connection to this baby. When I say that it makes me feel like a horrible mom already but it's truly how I feel. So we decided to pay for another ultrasound since my doctor said she will not be giving me anymore. December 26th is hopefully the day we will find out what this baby is and I will have something to bring me closer...